Then I discovered the forecast for race day was sub-arctic. Perfect.
|The wind chill was 29. The chill in my soul was minus 233.|
We dropped some cash at Dick's for some cold weather crap. My old compression pants from last winter are literally hanging off my smaller butt this year. So I like to think it was necessary spending as opposed to flushing money down the toilet. We also bought Bear Grylls' survival blankets just in case. As if a delicate flower like me should ever need to purchase anything with Bear Grylls' name on it. Whatever.
|This is the face of a stupid woman still contemplating whether or not she's going to go in the water.|
So I'm thinking I'll just run the 6 miles and skip the water stuff. No biggie. Right.
|Still relatively warm and dry hiding out in a tent until it was go time.|
Slipping and near falls happened every 10 feet. My shoes started collecting mud that would gather sort of like a snow shoe surrounding the shoe itself. I'm a little unclear how to run with snow shoes made of mud. My 10 minute mile was probably more like a careful 13 minute mile watching where I stepped. Sometimes it was up or down hill in mud and then it was probably a 16 minute mile. I tried running to the side of the path as much as I could since it was less muddy. Sometimes I off road-ed over grass and crap at the edges. Sometimes I walked while trying to shake off the snow shoe build up.
And the powers that be at this race incorporated creeks into the course. What a wonderful use of the naturally occuring terrain where the race was held! And we got to cross them! Lucky us! Because there was no other way around them and oh well if our feet got soaked! So now I'm running with cold wet feet covered in mud snow shoes! Yeah! Not long after that I'm thinking we must almost be to the end and then we pass the 2.5 mile sign. Um. Yeah.
It was mostly men out there. I'm guessing they suffer from the same crippling insanity as my husband. Some are more insane than others though. For example, my husband didn't go in all the water traps. Just some. The truly insane went in everything and ran the entire race in shorts and no shirt. There were a lot of insane people there. The only thing I didn't spot was bare feet. But I guess you have to draw the line somewhere.
|This is the face of a cold tired insane man. I wish I had video of him coming out from under the water looking like he'd just been to war or something equally horrific. It was nuts.|
I hate to be sexist but most of the golf carts contained girls. We saw one tiny slip of a girl in short sleeves shaking like a leaf walking with her boyfriend and he had his arms around her trying to warm her up. They weren't trying to finish. They were just trying to get to the golf carts. About a mile from the end, there were ripped fellas that were wet and falling apart but clearly just plowing ahead despite that. One guy's teeth were chatting so badly as I jogged passed him I could actually hear it.
|This is the face of a woman that wants to go home.|
We celebrated by getting back in our car and turning the heat all the way up. Then we hit up a soul food restaurant and face planted into a sea of fried foods. My husband wasn't particularly enthused to enter the establishment with mud in his ears while wearing sketchy sweatpants and flip flops. The universe must have heard his soul weeping and spared him by making the wait time for a table 3 years.
|Bring us our food already.|
|My husband telling me to try the corn because it was sent from heaven. Pretty sure they put crack in that corn. Either that or we were both starving.|
But I'm giving myself an A for resisting my natural urge to wimp out. I'll take it and live to fight another day. Now let's go back to pretending it didn't happen.