What’s that? You have no idea who that is? I pity you. I pity you for lacking the foresight to know that it's important to turn your brain to mush as quickly as you can by watching crap like Gravity Falls on The Disney Channel. A mind is a terrible thing to waste when you could be turning it to mush like us.
|Mabel and Dipper. 50% of my household named Mabel the character they'd choose to be if they were a character on Gravity Falls.|
Anyhoo, we like that show and one of the main characters is this guy.
|Pretty sure I'm going to hell for going paparazzi on this guy. What did he ever do to me? Except maybe wear that tank top. But still.|
|Since I was already going to hell for parazzi'ing that guy I figured I might as well get a shot from behind.|
Enter the happy kid.
My husband would like it noted that that particular ESPN special was very, very touching. I’d like it noted he actually told me while still touched by the special that we needed to have a third kid so that our son will have a brother to play for him in the NFL in case he loses a leg.
I pointed out that the lost leg seems sort of harsh to plan for and that I’d never heard of girls playing in the NFL and that's a 50/50 crapshoot on the whole baby thing. So then I asked if plan B was going to involve shopping through orphanages looking for a boy with good genes that could be molded into the next great quarterback. So then my husband explained to me that defense wins championships so we’d obviously look for a linebacker. Duh.
Thankfully, by the next commercial break, our household had already moved on to a new and equally idiotic topic. Rest assured, we never run out of those.